一位美國父親在其部落格發表了一封寫給四歲小女兒的信,信中借用化妝品的廣告標語向女兒以及全天下的男女闡釋他的人生觀,期盼人們能珍視女性的內在美。他巧妙的用詞與獨到的見解,在網上獲得熱烈的迴響。

這封信是臨床心理師弗蘭納甘(Kelly Flanagan)博士在百貨公司化妝專櫃走道上寫的,他對著那些教女人如何漂亮百分百、性感動人的宣傳標語細細思索,然後在信中將其中一些標語重新做了如下一番截然不同的詮釋:

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光彩耀人(Brilliant strength):願你的光彩不是來自指甲,而是來自心裏。希望你從內心找到真我,然後在世上戰戰兢兢、堅持不懈地發出自己的光芒。

構築你的夢想(Choose your dream):夢想不是到百貨公司的專櫃去尋找,而是找到你內在那塊潔淨如初的心田,你真正的夢想早已深植其中。找出你想為世界做些什麼,當你做出選擇,願你懷著誠信和希望,忠實地去追求夢想。

不加掩飾(Naked):儘管社會潮流叫人把衣服脫掉,但請把衣服穿著,請你認真採取行動。要毫無保留,把內心的話說出來。不要設防,要承擔風險。拋開顧忌、敞開心胸,去愛那些不太懂得愛自己的人。

盡善盡美(Infallible):願你深切瞭解到:「毫無瑕疵」並不存在,它只是要你掏錢的商人所創造的假象。如果你真想力求完美,願你追求的是修己利人的完美德行。

抗衰老(Age defying):你的皮膚會起皺、青春會褪色,但心靈卻能永恆不老。此生當中,你的心永遠懂得如何去遊玩、品味與陶醉生活。祝你永遠保持一顆年輕的心。

完美修為(Flawless finish):你的修為與你當下的樣貌無關,但與你如何度過整個人生卻息息相關。願你每一天都在為今生最後一刻鋪路;願你一生重德行善、增長智慧,並將愛擴及一切世人;願你完美的修為能安然度過此生以至來世,同時也把這份修為贈與所有珍愛你的人。

弗蘭納甘在信的結尾再次提醒女兒,內在美才是最重要的,那是所有化妝品都修飾不到的。

http://drkellyflanagan.com/2014/01/15/words-from-a-father-to-his-daughter-from-the-makeup-aisle/

Dear Little One,

As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. And now that I’m sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have adeep power. Words and phrases like:

Affordably gorgeous,

Infallible,

Flawless finish,

Brilliant strength,

Liquid power,

Go nude,

Age defying,

Instant age rewind,

Choose your dream,

Nearly naked, and

Natural beauty.

When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.

But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.

A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:

Brilliant strength. May your strength be not in your fingernailsbut in your heart. May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.

Choose your dream. But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.

Naked. The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.

Infallible. May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infalliblegrace—for yourself, and for everyone around you.

Age defying. Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.

Flawless finish. Your finish has nothing to do with how your facelooks today and everything to do with how your life looks on yourlast day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.

Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: “Where are you the most beautiful?” Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.

Where are you the most beautiful?

On the inside.

From my heart to yours,

Daddy

 

 

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